Raise today’s children differently than they raised you
A little person shows himself in this world as he can and can do – often he takes an example from his parents, other adults or children. Even if he has made a wrong choice, you can’t punish him – you have to explain. It is all the more worth remembering that you should not forbid children, so as not to traumatise them for the rest of their lives.
What should not be forbidden to a child under any circumstances
Today’s parents probably remember very well how they were brought up. Few can boast about what they saw and heard in their childhood – as a rule, we grew up in difficult conditions. Now the world has changed, and various psychologists are at cross-purposes to advise on what can and cannot be done with children, how you should and should not behave. If you want to be an authority for your child, remember what you should not punish children for and what you should not forbid them.
Ask
There are parents who are annoyed by the constant “why” from the mouth of the child, they get angry – then the child thinks that it is not allowed to ask questions. In fact, you better be patient, because children ask everything in a row not because they want to make you angry, but because they are in this world for the first time, they are all around interesting and incomprehensible.
Being independent
Not everyone understands why a child should not be forbidden to wash dishes, sweep the floor or choose his or her own clothes. The fact is that a boy or a girl who from an early age will learn to do something independently, further will be easier to cope with other tasks. If you do everything yourself, without letting the child even to simple things, he or she will not be able to cognise the world, make mistakes and learn something.
Refuse
Often in playgrounds you can see children asking each other for toys, and parents encourage this behaviour in every possible way. If suddenly someone’s child refuses to give his toy to another kid, mum and dad scold for this. This is not the way to do it, but you can try to put yourself in the child’s shoes. You sometimes do not want to share with someone what is dear to you? Why should your child? Keep a balance – explain to your son or daughter that sharing with others is necessary, greed is bad, but if he or she doesn’t want to, he or she has the right to do it.
Crying
One of the most popular questions to psychologists sounds like this – parents do not understand why you can not forbid a child to cry. As a rule, this applies to sons, after all, “men do not cry”. However, such a position is very thin ice. You risk suppressing emotions in the baby, then they will accumulate and manifest themselves in another way. How exactly and when – no one knows. Let a little person feel and experience, if he fell and it hurts physically or offended and hurts morally – let him cry.
Keeping secrets from parents
Growing up is a difficult process, as your child gradually starts to keep secrets from you. Many mums and dads, trying to protect their children, try to pressure and demand transparency in relationships. This does not help the level of trust – the more you will “tighten the collar” on your child – the sooner he will want to tear off the collar and completely distance himself from the aggressor. In this case, you.
Anger and resentment
Everyone has bad days, children are no exception. Of course, each of us would like to live in an ideal world where no one ever cries, never gets tired, never gets irritated, and where rainbows shine in the sky and pink ponies gallop around. In real life it is never like that – both an adult and a child can experience negative emotions.
The question is how you experience them and what you teach your children. It is normal to feel dissatisfied with something, but not normal if you express it through violence, for example. Then your task is not to suppress negativity in your child, but to teach them how to cope with it.
